(begins with the sun rising over a mountain)
Narrator: Since the beginning of time, mankind has searched for answers to the big questions. (clouds move over a mountain range; an amoeba moves around; several others appear doing the same) Where did we come from? (various flowers bloom) Is there life after death? (more clouds move through the sky) Are we alone? (a starry sky spins around over a mountain; bolts of lightning strike; large clouds quickly pass over a city skyline) But today, in this very theater, you'll be asked to answer the ultimate question. (the camera passes over the ocean and goes under; Spongebob's pineapple home appears) Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?
Spongebob: (laughs off-screen)
Narrator: (a large wave washes "The Spongebob Squarepants Movie" logo up on the sand) The Spongebob Squarepants Movie.
Spongebob: (sits on a bench next to Squidward, who looks shocked, on one side, and the a pink fish on the other) Yes!!! (jumps up in the air; looks at the pink fish) Yeah!!! (laughs and dances around; claps) Woo! (turns toward Squidward) Shh! (cuts to Spongebob unfolding his pants and putting them on)
Narrator: Bigger. (the word appears on screen; an elevator door opens in a room full of supplies; Spongebob and Patrick run out of it and toward the camera) Squarier. (the word appears on screen; Spongebob and Patrick burst through the side wall of the Krusty Krab 2 riding the Patty Wagon/Burgermobile; cuts to Spongebob and Patrick sliding down a poll to below the kitchen floor) Spongier. (the word appears on screen; as Spongebob stares in the mirror, the back of his pants falls down; he turns around, blushes, and tiptoes away; a nervous laugh is heard) The Spongebob Squarepants Movie. (the logo washes up on the sand again; cuts to Spongebob running past Mr. Krabs, who is on stage in front of a large sign with Squidward's picture on it)
Spongebob: (holding up Nixon's "I am not a crook" fingers) Woo hoo hoo! ("November 2004" appears on-screen with a Nickelodeon fish logo swimming above it; then the words "Only in Theaters" and "This Film is Not Yet Rated" slide up, along with some legal info at the bottom and the web address, "SpongebobMovie.com") Only in theaters.