Sleepy Time
written by Paul Tibbitt, Ennio Torresan Jr., and Mr. Lawrence
typed by Aaron exclusively for Sarah's Spongebob Shrine

(scene opens up outside of Spongebob's pineapple; it is nighttime, and Spongebob is getting ready for bed)
Spongebob: Ah, time for bed, Gary. (pulls off his left shoe and sock, then the right; both land on the floor, in front of Gary; the socks, still standing up, now fall into the shoes; Gary sticks his eyes in and comes out with a sock covering each eye stalk)
Gary: Meow?
Spongebob: Oh, Gary. (pulls the socks off Gary's eyes) You know what they say. Curiosity salted the snail. (lies down in bed) Mind your wandering eye, you little mollusk. (pulls the covers over himself) Sweet dreams, Gary. (starts to snore; a dream cloud appears; inside it is a large landscape with Krabby Patties and spatulas sticking out of the ground; Spongebob's eyeballs appear, followed by his shoes; his mouth appears on a rock a couple of feet away) Hey! Over here! (laughs; his arms wiggle over on the ground; Spongebob assembles himself, with the previous body parts, and his arms and legs, which grow out of the rock; with a pop, he turns into his normal self, minus his nose; an orange boat with a flame decal painted on the bow flies down over him, and he winds up inside it; soon, he is driving extremely fast down the road, with his eyes bloodshot and his tongue flailing around outside his mouth; his nose slowly pokes through the middle of his face; he makes a swift turn past another Patty and a large head of lettuce) Wait a minute. I don't have a driver's license! (a driver's license appears in front of him, with his picture on it and all of his personal information, as well as his signature; takes it) Wow. My driver's license. (not paying attention to the road) I can't believe it! (makes another swift turn) I sure take a good picture. (breaks through a wooden sign in the middle of the road that says "Road Ends") Darn! I should have grown a mustache. (the boat starts bumping up and down rapidly; Spongebob is now driving off-road, hitting bumps in the sand; he smashes into a rock and flies out of the boat, still holding his license) How could I have forgotten the most important rule of driving? Always wear your seatbelt. (flies over the Krusty Krab) Hey, I can see the Krusty Krab from here. (Mrs. Puff floats up to him) Mrs. Puff! Look! I've finally got my driver's license!
Mrs. Puff: (snatches the license and tears it up) Not even in your dreams, Mr. Squarepants!
Spongebob: NO!!!! (flies through the dream cloud and onto Spongebob's real-life bed) Ouch! Where am I? (walks up to his sleeping self) Is that me? Or is this me? Am I still dreaming?
Gary: Meow. (snoring) Meow.
Spongebob: (walks up to Gary's dream cloud) This must be Gary's dream. I'm gonna get a closer look. (hops into the cloud; inside is a gigantic library; Spongebob falls down to the ground) Whoa!!!! (lands) Wow. Look at all these books. I wonder where Gary is. (walking through the aisles) Gary! Huh? (walks up to a large figure in a purple cloak) Excuse me, sir. Have you seen...? (the figure turns around, and it is revealed to be Gary, but much taller and what are normally his shell and body for a head)
Gary: (with an accent) Spongebob?
Spongebob: Gary?
Gary: How dare you invade the sanctity of my dreams?
Spongebob: Gary! You can talk!
Gary: (sighs) In dreams, one is not tethered by earthly limitations.
Spongebob: What does that mean?
Gary: (in a resigned tone of voice) Come. (walks off; walking down an aisle of books) For ages, dreams have been thought of as windows to another realm. (picks up a book and reads from it) "Let me not mar that perfect dream by an auroral stain, but so adjust my daily night that it may come again." Emily Dickinson wrote that.
Spongebob: Who?
Gary: (flips a few pages) Here's one you might know. (clears throat) There once was a man from Peru who dreamed he was eating his shoe. He woke with a fright in the middle of the night to find that his dream had come true.
Spongebob: (laughs) Gee Gary, you sure are smart.
Gary: Did you think my shell was full of hot air?
Spongebob: Well, thanks for the info, Gary. I'm going back to my own dream now.
Gary: Beware of your wandering eye, you little poriferan!
Spongebob: (jumps out of Gary's dream cloud and hops up onto his alarm clock to get into his own; sees Patrick's dream cloud outside the window) I wonder what Patrick's dreaming. (Patrick is stuck to the bottom of his rock, sucking his thumb and snoring; Spongebob runs over) I can't resist! (laughs and jumps in; inside, he opens a door; everything is white, and there is no scenery, just Patrick rocking back and forth on a 25 kiddie ride) Hey Patrick!
Patrick: Hi Spongebob.
Spongebob: (walks over) You know Patrick, this is a dream. You can do anything you want.
Patrick: Yup.
Spongebob: I mean anything! Watch. I can turn into a skyscraper. (transforms into the shape of a skyscraper) Going up! Eh? (sees that Patrick is unresponsive; looks dull) I can make... a million of me! (changes back to his normal shape and size, this time with a million copies of himself) Eh? Eh? (the clones disappear) Ah, tartar sauce. I'm going to a different dream. (leaves)
Patrick: Okay. Bye Spongebob. (kiddie ride comes to a halt; Patrick reaches into his pocket and pulls out another quarter and goes to put it in the slot, but accidentally drops it and it rolls away) Oh!!! (the quarter falls into a grate) Shoot, that was my last quarter. (sits on the ride with a dull gaze; meanwhile, Spongebob hops out of the dream cloud and starts to walk down the block; he stops below Squidward's dream cloud)
Spongebob: Ooh, this is gonna be good! (sucks in air and floats up into the cloud; inside, Squidward is playing clarinet in front of an applauding crowd; he has a powdered wig on his head) Psst! Squidward! (waving in the audience; Squidward stops playing) Hey, Squidward!
Squidward: Spongebob!
King Fish: Ahem! (sitting in the balcony above the stage) Why do you stop playing, Wolfgang Amadeus Tentacles?
Squidward: Yes, Your Highness. (starts to play again; up on the balcony, Spongebob is whispering in the King Fish's ear, causing him to chuckle; Squidward stops playing again) Spongebob!
King Fish: (stops laughing) Hey! I have not instructed you to stop! Now play! (turns back to Spongebob) Now, do tell me the one about the man from Peru again. (nudges Spongebob)
Squidward: (getting furious) Sponge... (snaps his clarinet in half; the audience gasps) ...bob.
King Fish: I came here to hear beautiful music! If I don't get my wish, it'll be your head!
(Squidward chuckles nervously)
Spongebob: Psst! Squidward! (sits at Squidward's feet in the form of a clarinet; winks and points to himself) Eh? Eh?
Squidward: (throws the broken pieces of the clarinet off the stage and crosses his arms) No way.
King Fish: Ahem! (looks at Squidward sternly)
Squidward: (looks down at Spongebob, who raises his eyebrows; sighs and picks him up) Please, Spongebob. No tricks.
Spongebob: Trust me, Squidward. (Squidward puts Spongebob to his mouth; Spongebob begins singing in a loud, annoying voice) La la, la la la la la la la la la! (the audience gasps again) La la, la la la!
Squidward: Spongebob!
King Fish: (sobbing) Why have you stopped playing that wonderful music?
(Squidward looks at Spongebob and smiles; Spongebob winks; Squidward starts to play again)
Audience Member: (tearing up) His music touches me ever-so. I fear that my tears my stain my petticoat. (the rest of the audience cheers)
Squidward: (bows) Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. (a crowd of audience members run up to the stage, grab Spongebob, and toss Squidward into a wagon full of fruit) What is this instrument that produces such lovely sound?
Spongebob: (turns back to normal and runs away; the crowd gasps; Spongebob passes Squidward, who is wiping the fruit off of himself) So long, Squidward! (the crowd chases after him, knocking Squidward back into the fruit barrel; the King Fish follows; Spongebob runs out the door and exits the dream cloud, while Squidward squirms around in bed angrily; Spongebob lands on top of Sandy's treedome with his face pressed up against the glass) Hey! I'm at Sandy's! (Sandy lies in her tree, sleeping; Spongebob creeps over to her dream cloud and then jumps in; he opens the door of a plane inside) Aw, this looks neat! I wonder... (falls out) DAHHHHHH!!!!
Sandy: (glides up on a purple board, next to Spongebob) Hey Spongebob, what brings you here?
Spongebob: Hey Sandy! What's going on?
Sandy: (turns upside down in the air) Well, we're free-falling from 114,000 feet, and we're gonna land on that itty-bitty target. (a red and white target is painted on the ground below; there are stands of people around it; both she and Spongebob spin around)
Spongebob: This seems kind of dangerous!
Sandy: Not as long as you've got a big old parachute!
Spongebob: Okay! (gives her a thumbs-up; both his shoes inflate)
Sandy: Not pair of shoes, Spongebob, parachute!
Spongebob: Gotcha! (lifts up a green parakeet perched on his finger)
Sandy: Not a parakeet! Para... (lands in a truck labeled "Clam Manure"; her parachute opens after she is inside) ...medic.
Spongebob: AHHHHHHH!!! (smashes through the ground and out of the dream cloud; bounces a few times after he hits the ground) Ouch! All right, that's it. No more messing with people's dreams. (sees a dream cloud coming out of Mr. Krabs's house) H-h-hey! Mr. Krabs... (runs over, climbs up the house, and hops into the cloud; inside, he pokes his head out of the sand, right under a pink flower; the sky is a mix of green and yellow, and surrounding him are giant pink bubbles, cupcakes, and candy; as the camera pans to the right, things such as lollipops, teddy bears, ballerina slippers and teen records are seen, as well as a unicorn fish drinking out of a running stream of water) Uh... Mr. Krabs?
Pearl: Hello, Spongebob! (sits at a table with a green rabbit and a brown teddy bear; pours some tea into the bear's cup)
Spongebob: (waves) Oh, Pearl. This is your dream.
Pearl: You're just in time for the tea party!
Spongebob: Actually, I was looking for your dad's dream.
Pearl: Oh. He's next door. (shakes head) Boys don't understand the sophistication of tea parties. Right, Mr. Stuffy?
Spongebob: Bye! (exits the cloud and hops over to Mr. Krabs's) I bet Mr. Krabs's dream will be more robust. (enters the cloud; he peeks in and sees a large body of water into which he jumps and floats around, until he bumps into a boat)
Mr. Krabs: I've got you now, you slippery demon! (inside the boat, he grips into a fishing rod) You're putting up a good fight, yes you are. (Spongebob hops into the boat)
Spongebob: Whatcha doing, Mr. Krabs?
Mr. Krabs: I'm picking Neptune's pocket!
Spongebob: What are you talking about?
Mr. Krabs: I'm talking about cold hard flippin' cash. It's the mighty Moby Dollar! (a gigantic dollar hooked onto Mr. Krabs's line flips above the water, then goes back under) Do you see her, boy? (reels it in) I got her! Here she comes! Thar she blows! (the dollar spits tons of pennies out of its blowhole)
Spongebob: (laughs) Look, Mr. Krabs. Pennies!
Mr. Krabs: Never mind the small change, lad. Get the net!
Spongebob: (grabs a small butterfly net) This one?
Mr. Krabs: No, no, no, no! The money net! It's in me back pocket.
Spongebob: (reaches into Mr. Krabs's back pocket and pulls out a huge wallet with Mr. Krabs's license in it; on the license is a picture of Mr. Krabs with a mustache) Wow! You look real good with a mustache, Mr. Krabs.
Mr. Krabs: Never mind that, boy. Ready the net!
Spongebob: Net ready, sir! (opens up the wallet)
Mr. Krabs: (pulls the dollar into the boat and heaves it into the wallet) I did it! (laughs excitedly) I finally did it!
Spongebob: Congratulations, Mr. Krabs. (lets go of the wallet and holds out his hand for a handshake; the wallet bounces away)
Mr. Krabs: No, Spongebob! Don't let it go!
Spongebob: (turns around) Huh?
Mr. Krabs: Get it, Spongebob! Get it! Get it! Get it! Get it! Get it! (Spongebob chases after it, but it hops off the back end of the boat)
Spongebob: Hey! Hey! I...!
Mr. Krabs: NOOOOOO!!! (the dollar flips away in the lagoon)
Spongebob: This'll make a make a great fish story, eh Mr. Krabs?
Mr. Krabs: Oh Spongebob... (walks off)
Spongebob: Yes, Mr. Krabs?
Mr. Krabs: (throws a rope around him) You're fired!!! (fires off a rifle with a plunger inside it to which the rope is attached)
Spongebob: AHHHHHHH!!!! (flies out of the dream cloud and into a dream cloud coming from the Chum Bucket; sticks to a building inside the cloud) Ooh! Hey, Plankton's dreaming about Bikini Bottom.
Plankton: (off-screen) Zap! (nukes a building near the one Spongebob is stuck to; three fish run out of it, screaming) I see you. (stomps up to another building, twenty times the size of his normal self) Zap! (shoots a green laser out of his eye)
Fish: (off-screen) My leg!
Plankton: I see you. Zap!
Spongebob: Plankton! (tries to loosen himself from the rope around his ankle)
Plankton: I see you... (Spongebob finally gets himself free) Zap!!! (destroys the building seconds after Spongebob escapes; more screaming fish fun by; Plankton stands next to the Krusty Krab) Oh look, it's the Krusty Krab, home of the Krabby Patty. (steps on it) Crush!!! (picks up the sign and starts to lick it while walking away) Lick, lick!
Spongebob: (running away) This isn't a dream, this is a nightmare!
Gary: (off-screen) Meow!
Spongebob: (stops and looks behind him) Gary! (Gary sits in the middle of the wreckage) Gary! No!!!
Gary: Meow! (Plankton stomps up to him)
Plankton: Here kitty, kitty, kitty.
Spongebob: Gary!!! (leaps over to him and hugs him) I've got you, Gary!
Plankton: Peekaboo, here comes my foot! (lifts his foot up and steps on them) Nyah! Huh? (lifts up his foot again and starts to hop around) Yow!!!
Spongebob: (in the form of a thumbtack) I think he's got the point. (laughs)
Plankton: (starts to deflate, his voice getting higher as he shrinks) Woooooooahhhhhhh!!! (three burnt fish walk up to him when he is back to normal size) Well, I guess I've got some explaining to do, huh? (Fred lifts his foot over him) No! No! No! Not the face! (gets crushed; wakes up at his desk, panting; his dream cloud pops and Spongebob falls out of it)
Spongebob: Ooh! (cuts to him walking home; he enters his room and gets back into his own dream cloud, where there is a bed just like his real one) Ah, that was fun and all, but it's good to be back in my own dream cloud. (pulls the covers over himself) Ah... (falls asleep; the heads of the people whose dreams he intruded circle around him angrily)
Squidward: Spongebob!
Spongebob: Huh?
Mr. Krabs: Spongebob!
Sandy: Spongebob!
Squidward: Spongebob!
Mr. Krabs: Spongebob!
Spongebob: What do you want from me? Leave me alone! (the dream cloud disappears; Spongebob lies in bed, shaking back and forth) No! No, no, no, no!
Squidward: Spongebob! (slaps him in the face)
Spongebob: AHHHHHHH!!!! (the people whose dreams he intruded stand around his bed) What are you all doing in your pajamas? Are we having a slumber party?
Squidward: No. We are not having a slumber party!
Sandy: Do us all a favor Spongebob, and stay out of our dreams! (the crowd agrees) Come on, Spongebob!
Plankton: Take a hike!
Squidward: Don't we get enough of you during the day?
Gary: Meow!
Patrick: (walks up) Does anyone have a quarter? (everyone stares at him)