written by Aaron Springer, Erik Wiese, and Mr. Lawrence
typed by Gaby exclusively for Sarah's Spongebob Shrine

(scene opens to an island above water with an evening sky as background)
Narrator: Ah, it is Sunday morning in Bikini Bottom, and it is about time for Squidward to practice his clarinet. So get your earplugs ready.
(inside Squidward's house)
Squidward: (kisses his clarinet) I think I'll treat Bikini Bottom to some real music. (scene goes to Spongebob's house and shows him sleeping; his alarm clock changes to six o' clock on the dot and his foghorn alarm rings; the blast causes Squidward's clarinet to be pushed back into his throat)
Spongebob: Good morning, Squidward! Want to go jellyfishing? (Squidward protests, but is unheard by Spongebob, since his clarinet is still lodged in his throat) Hurray! We'll be right over. (Squidward pulls the clarinet out of his throat, and there is a knocking on his door)
Squidward: I wonder who THAT could be. (Squidward opens the door to Spongebob and Patrick; Patrick waves)
Spongebob: Ready to go?
Squidward: No, I'm not ready to go! (Squidward slams the door on Spongebob and Patrick)
Patrick: He doesn't want to play with us.
Spongebob: No, Patrick, he's just not ready. (scene shows Squidward in his house, taking a breath, about to play his clarinet; there is a knock on the door; he opens it) Ready now?
Squidward: No! (slams the door; scene shows Squidward in his house, taking a breath, about to play his clarinet; there is a knock on the door; Squidward grumbles and opens the door)
Spongebob: How about now?
Squidward: No! (slams the door shut and there is a knock) Huh? (opens the door)
Spongebob: Now?
Squidward: No! (slams the door, knock on the door, he opens it)
Spongebob: Now?
Squidward: No! (slams the door, knock on the door, he opens it)
Spongebob: How about now?
Squidward: No! (slams the door, knock on the door, he opens it)
Spongebob: Now?
Squidward: No! (slams the door, knock on the door, he opens it)
Spongebob: Now?
Squidward: No! (slams the door, knock on the door, he opens it)
Spongebob: Now?
Squidward: No! (slams the door, knock on the door, he opens it)
Spongebob: Now?
Squidward: No! (slams the door, opens it) No! (slams the door, opens it, and discovers Spongebob and Patrick are gone; Spongebob and Patrick walk up behind Squidward and tap him on the shoulder) What?!
Spongebob: Ready yet?
Squidward: No, I'm not ready! I'll never be ready! Don't you get it?
Spongebob: Sure we do.
Squidward: What? (grumbles and shuts the door, shutting himself out of his house; begins to walk away and notices he is outside; runs back to the house and knocks on the door, furious; Patrick and Spongebob open the door)
Spongebob: Ready? (Squidward smacks his forehead and stomps in the house; he pushes Spongebob and Patrick out the door)
Squidward: OUT! Sheesh, shouldn't you be at work today, Spongebob?
Spongebob: I'd love to be at work today, but it's Sunday. The Krusty Krab is closed. (a surprised expression dawns on Squidward's face)
Squidward: Hold on a second. I'll be right out. (he slams the door on Spongebob and Patrick; a shot of Spongebob and Patrick waiting for Squidward is on, and Squidward is seen tiptoeing away in the background; scene cuts to the Krusty Krab and Squidward tiptoeing to it; he walks in the front door) Hello? (the door shuts; silence) Ah! Alone at last! (he inhales deeply to get ready to play his clarinet)
Spongebob and Patrick: Squidward! Squidward! (Squidward runs into the kitchen; outside, Spongebob and Patrick are looking in through the window) Squidward! (Squidward runs into the freezer) Squidward! Oh, Squidward! (Squidward looks through the window in the freezer door; ducks when Spongebob and Patrick walk by; peeks out slightly; Spongebob and Patrick walk past) Squidward!
Spongebob: Well, he's not here. I'll bet that eager beaver's already down at Jellyfish Fields.
Squidward: Aha! They're finally gone. (reaches for the handle, but realizes it's locked) What the? Locked? Oh no! Oh, well, someone will realize I'm gone and come looking for me. I'll be out of here in no time.
Narrator: 2000 Years Later
(scene shows Squidward still inside the freezer, frozen; the hinges are rusty, and they fall off; the door falls with Squidward frozen behind it; Spongebob flies past and then back to Squidward)
Spongebob: Holy Krabby Patties! A frozen cephalopod! (Spongebob grabs a chrome hammer; from the hammer comes a red laser, which melts the ice... and Squidward's behind; Squidward screams)
Squidward: (trancelike) I'll be out of here in no time.
Spongebob: Greetings, primitive.
Squidward: Sp... Spongebob? Is that you?
Spongebob: Spongebob? No! (mechanized voice) I am Spongetron. (normal voice) Welcome to the future.
Squidward: (rubbing his head) What?
Spongetron: Welcome to the future.
Squidward: Uh, the future? Huh? (looks around in disbelief) Okay, what's going on here? Why is everything chrome?
Spongetron: Everything is chrome in the future!
Squidward: Wha... uh... uh... (Squidward runs to the window) OH... MY...! Impossible! He's lying! (looks outside at a chrome landscape; a flower pops out of the ground; a fish comes out of a chrome boatmobile and sprays the new flower with chrome paint, then retreats) He's right!
Spongetron: Of course I'm right, Squidward. Just ask my clones: Spongetrons X, Y, and Z. (Squidward gasps as he sees four Sponge-trons)
Squidward: Are the... other letters of the alphabet involved here?
Spongetron: Sure! All 486 of them. (Squidward stands in disbelief; he puts his clarinet on the ground, turns to lie on his back, and then bends his body) Future...! Future...! Future...! (Spongetron walks up to Squidward and pulls on his tie, and out of his Krusty Krab hat, a device drops a brick on Squidward's head; Squidward rubs his head)
Squidward: Thanks. Now listen! All of you! I don't belong here. This is all a horrible mistake. Please, we've got to do something!
Spongetrons X, Y, and Z: (all pull out nets) Jellyfishing! (a loud static disrupts them, and a two-headed Patrick appears)
Patrick: Did somebody say "jellyfishing"?!
Spongetron: Hi, Pat-tron!
Squidward: (angrily) J-Just listen to me. I'm not supposed to be here. I've got to get home to my own time period. I got to go!
Spongetron: Well, why didn't you just ask? Time machine is down the hall, to the left. (Squidward runs down the hall and opens the door on the left, laughing gleefully he runs in, and a machine hums loudly; he steps out, and his body seems to have been cut; bits of him are falling off) Oops! Oh yeah, that one's the can opener. But try the one on the right. (Squidward steps in the door on the right; there is a room with a lever saying PAST and FUTURE, with an ignition key to the left and three flashing lights on the right)
Squidward: Well, I wouldn't have chosen this interior. Oh, what's this? Well, if Spongebob exists in the future, I'd better go to the past. (Squidward turns the key and pulls the lever down to PAST; outside the room, a siren beeps; Spongetron and the clones stand smiling; he waves; after a green flash, the spot where the time machine was is nothing but a burning site; the time machine is traveling past flashing lights; after another green flash, the time machine stops in an ancient sea floor; Squidward looks out; an ancient sea creature swims by) Wow, primitive. Has sort of an old-world charm. (as he walks, a snake-like creature swims too close to his head) Whoa! I guess this is before manners were invented! Well, at least there's no sign of Spongebrat. Maybe now I can finally be alone with my clarinet. (hears a rustle and stops; turns back; a figure quickly hides; Squidward walks on; soon, he hears a bang; a creature hides under a rock; a sweat drop rolls down Squidward's head; he continues on nervously; a creature swings from one tree to another) Huh? (another creature runs from one tree to another) What? (a creature hides behind a tree) Huh? (a creature hides behind a ledge; Squidward backs up slowly and screams when he touches a patch of kelp; he hears some chomping and pulls back the kelp; a yellow sponge sits on the ground) Spongebob? (Spongebob turns and shouts; he jumps and lands in front of Squidward) Stay back! (Spongebob reaches for Squidward's tentacle and touches it with his little finger; he sniffs it and offers it to Squidward) Uh, no thanks. (Squidward hears some heavy breathing nearby; he turns and sees a primitive version of Patrick breathing on him; Patrick bares his teeth, which are rotten and set in blue gums) Uh, hi there. Well, I better be going now. (Spongebob grabs Squidward's tentacle and hoots like a monkey) Yes, that's my arm. (Spongebob pulls Squidward's arm and puts it on his head, while Patrick licks his fist) Oh, that's sweet. (Patrick suddenly starts bellowing) What, is it time for your flea bath now? (a little jellyfish swims by, and Patrick cowers in fear of it) Oh, it's just a little jellyfish. (Spongebob starts yelling like crazy; he runs around, then he and Patrick both start hooting in alarm) Well, I'm going away now. (Squidward walks away) Ah, here's a nice, shady spot, away from those fools. (Squidward inhales to play his clarinet, and as he plays a note, Spongebob hoots; Squidward stops, then Spongebob stops; he tries again, and Patrick bellows as Squidward plays; Spongebob screams; Squidward angrily gets up and walks over to Spongebob and Patrick, who are passing each other the jellyfish; Patrick gets shocked, then he passes it to Spongebob, who gets zapped as well; he shouts) What are you simpletons doing?! You're supposed to catch these things, not torture yourself with them! (Spongebob and Patrick stand stupidly, drooling) Give me those loincloths! (Spongebob and Patrick tear off their loincloths, revealing a replacement loincloth; Squidward turns around and grumbles to himself) I can't believe it. (grumbles) This ought to make things go a little smoother. (he hands Spongebob and Patrick two jellyfishing nets; they take them and balance them above their lips; Squidward slaps his face and snatches the nets) Give me those things. You're supposed to catch them, like this. (Squidward catches the jellyfish) It's called jellyfishing. (Spongebob and Patrick take the nets and grunt goofily; they go after the jellyfish; Squidward stands proudly) Ah, finally! (he sits on the ground and gets ready to play his clarinet; he plays a squeaky tune; Spongebob and Patrick wave their jellyfishing nets around happily until they hear Squidward's playing; they cover their ears and start hooting angrily and pounding the ground; they start running towards the noise; Squidward sees them chasing him, and he starts running towards the time machine and reaches it) AAH!! Get me out of here! (he quickly moves the lever and realizes he broke it) Uh-oh. (the sign that indicates FUTURE suddenly starts spinning like a slot machine and stops on two lemons and BAR)
Machine: LOSER.
(outside, Spongebob and Patrick are pounding on the time machine until a green flash takes it away and they are left sitting on the ground; inside, Squidward drops the part of the lever he broke off and holds on to the wall as an alarm starts beeping; different colored lights flash, and outside the time machine, random words and numbers and backgrounds are seen until the time machine is compressed into nothing, leaving a white background; Squidward steps into the blank area; he walks a bit, past tiles on the ground below him and above him; a voice echoes eerily; he stops, looks around, notices the tile on the ground, and lifts it up; the tile floats up then disappears)
Squidward: He's not here. No more Spongebob. No more! I may finally have found a place where I can be all... (Squidward shrinks to a small size and the tiles disappear) ALONE! (a speech bubble comes up, saying "ALONE!"; various voices echo the word "alone", and the word appears in many different ways; all the voices echo "ALONE" at the same time, and the frame that held those words shrinks and repeats; Squidward pops his head up) I got to get out of here! (Squidward runs, but he is back in the same spot; he runs back, voices echo eerily; Squidward runs past a few times, coming and going in the same direction; he stops) Where's the time machine?! Where's anything? Where, where, where, where...? (as Squidward asks 'where?', he stomps the ground, and suddenly he falls through the floor, landing in the time machine; he stands up and slams the time machine controls) I want to go home! I want to go home! I want to go home! I want to go home! I miss Bikini Bottom! I miss my Easter Island head! I even miss Spongebob! (as Squidward says 'Spongebob', lights flash and he is transported back to Bikini Bottom, in his neighborhood, where Spongebob and Patrick are standing in front of his house, waiting for him)
Spongebob! Patrick!
Spongebob and Patrick: Hi Squidward!
Squidward: Oh, I'm back! I can't believe this. I-I-I was in space and then I went to the future and then I went to the past, and then I was nowhere, but now I'm back and you don't know how happy I am to see you guys.
Spongebob: Does this mean you want to go...
Spongebob and Patrick: Jellyfishing?
Squidward: NO!! D'oh! Who's the barnacle head who invented that game anyway?
Spongebob and Patrick: You are, Squidward! (Squidward stands in disbelief; Patrick and Spongebob laugh)
Squidward: I'm going back.