Fools in April
written by Aaron Springer, Erik Wiese, and Merriwether Williams
typed by Shadowstar

(Gary is asleep and Sponge wakes him)
Spongebob: Wake up Gary! (Gary meows confused) We're moving today! (Gary meows) That's right! We're moving away. We're going to become peasants! (he puts on a hat and a beard and takes away Gary's food bowl) No more food. (now Sponge has a dish with clams and salt) Sorry, Gary. Peasants only eat mashed-up clamshells. (Gary starts to cry) April Fools! (puts food bowl back) There ya go, pal! (Gary meows confusedly. Sponge goes to the kitchen) Whew, I'm thirsty! (he takes out a pitcher of lemonade that's two times the size as him) This is an extreme thirst! (cut to Sponge at a table which is lined up with hundreds of glasses of lemonade with a little umbrella in each one. He puts the last umbrella in) Whew, I'm exhausted. I sure can't wait to drink all of these drinks! April Fools! (he looks in the mirror) To me! (Sponge laughs nonstop as he walks out of the house and down the block. Squid looks outside and sees Sponge)
Squidward: What's he so happy about? (he walks off. He then runs back and sees the date on his calendar) April 1st?! April Fools Day is Spongebob's favorite holiday! (he puts a heating bag on his head and called Mr. Krabs) Mr. Krabs, I can't come in today. I caught something terrible.
Krabs: What'd you catch?
Squidward: I caught sight of the calendar.
Krabs: Oh, hold on Squidward, there's someone here to see you. He says he's from the Barnacle Bay Art Museum and he wants to honor you as artist of the month. (Squid runs off. At the Krusty Krab, Krabs and Sponge are giggling by the phone. Squid then triumphantly enters with a beret, a fake moustache and a paintbrush between his teeth)
Squidward: I have arrived. (Sponge and Krabs giggle silently) What's so funny? Where's the art dealer? (Sponge and Krabs try to contain their laughter)
Krabs: You just missed him.
Spongebob: Yeah, but he told us to tell you…
Squidward: Tell me what? (Sponge whispers in Squidward's ear)
Spongebob: He told me to tell you… (sing-song voice) April Fools. (Squid lays his Krusty Krew hat on the table)
Squidward: Well, it's been nice working here. (he walks off) Thanks for everything, Mr. Krabs.
Spongebob: Squidward, wait!
Squidward: Just send my last check to the P.O. box, Mr. Krabs!
Spongebob: Wait, Squidward! (latches onto his leg) It was just a joke! No more jokes on you today, I promise!
Squidward: You do?
Spongebob: Sure, there are lots of other willing participants. Right, Mr. Krabs? (Krabs sits on a whoopee cushion and it does its thing. Sponge laughs)
Squidward: Well, as long as it's not me. (Squid switches his beret for his Krusty Krew hat. Cut to Sponge walking with a tray of patties when an old lady asks for some help)
Old Lady: Excuse me, could you tell me where the forks are? (Sponge grins)
Spongebob: Sure! (he points to the spoon bin) They're right here, lady! (she picks one up)
Old Lady: But this is a spoon.
Spongebob: April Fools! (the Old Lady reluctantly laughs, Sponge does as well. Squid walks by and glares at Sponge. Sponge runs off. Cut to Sponge at the register helping a customer) Welcome to the Krusty Krab, how may I help you?
Guy: Yeah, give me two large fries and a jumbo Krabby Patty.
Spongebob: Hey, what's that? (the guy turns around to look and Sponge turns around, revealing he has a smiley face drawn on his back. The guy turns around again)
Guy: I didn't see anything. Hey, where'd that other guy go? (Sponge turns around)
Spongebob: April Fools! I'm right here!
Guy: (laughs) Hey, that was pretty good. (Sponge laughs. Squid peeks his head from out of the kitchen)
Squidward: What are you doing behind the counter? (Sponge runs off. Cut to Sponge ever-so-slowly wiping the floor with a cloth. A man walks up to him)
Man: Excuse me, can I get a couple of ice cubes in here, please?
Spongebob: Sure! A couple of ice cubes coming up! (he leaves and comes back with the iced drink) Here you go.
Man: Thanks. (he takes a sip, Sponge giggles faintly. The man looks over but just sees Sponge standing there. He takes a gulp and Sponge giggles louder. The man just sees Sponge standing there. The man finishes off his drink and Sponge laughs uncontrollably)
Spongebob: April Fools! (the man grabs Sponge)
Man: What did you do to my drink?
Spongebob: I… (giggles) I… (giggles)
Spongebob: You asked for a couple of ice cubes in your drink, and I only put in one! (he laughs uncontrollably again)
Man: I guess that is pretty funny. (laughs and walks off. Sponge is rolling on the floor laughing. In the kitchen, Squid listens to this while washing dishes. He furiously scrubs them. Outside, Sponge laughs so much that his tongue pops out like a separate little creature)
Spongebob: Hey, your shoe's untied. (the tongue looks down) April Fools! You're not wearing shoes! (he hugs the tongue and laughs. Squid is stuffing napkins in his ears to drown out the noise. But Sponge and his tongue go onto the loud speaker and Squid can hear it) April Fools! (Squid drops a plate)
Squidward: That does it! Spongebob and his stupid pranks! I'm going to show him what a real prank is all about! (cut to later, Squid is squirting some mustard in a circle of rope, which is tied to the side bar of the restaurant. He chortles to himself. Sponge is washing a glass when Squid shows him the stain)
Spongebob: Oh boy! Something for me to clean up! (he goes to wash it off. Squid is standing by where the rope is attached. Above we see an anchor hanging from the rope. The stain is gone)
Squidward: April Fools! (he laughs and cuts the cord. Sponge is caught by the rope and flies into a giant bag of flour. Squid is on the floor laughing. Then Sponge is flung around a bar, whipping the flour off him and he smashes into the wall. The patrons all gasp in horror, but Squid just laughs hysterically. Now Sponge is headed toward Bubble Bass's behind, which is planted on a seat. He screams and we switch to the patrons' dismayed remarks. Squid is now jumping up with pom-poms cheering like a cheerleader. Sponge is flung upward, smashes into the ceiling, and falls. Squid runs with a garbage can) I'll catch you, Spongebob! (he giggles to himself. Sponge falls into the green goop in the garbage can) Oops. (Squid dumps Sponge, who is now the shape of the can, out) April Fools, you little sausage! (he laughs. Sponge starts to tear and cries hysterically and runs out) Spongebob! I was just kidding! C'mon, c'mon. You all know I was just kidding… right?
Man: Aw man, poor kid.
Woman: That guy has definitely got some issues to work out. (all the people leave)
Guy: April Fools, jerk.
Squidward: Wait, don't go!
Voice: (from crowd) Hey, you stink!
Squidward: Wait, wait, it was a joke! (he looks around in anguish at the markings of what he's done: the Sponge imprint on the wall, in the flour and the damage done to Bubble Bass's behind. Squid sighs) Why is it whenever I'm having fun, it's wrong? I didn't mean to make him cry. I guess this means I'd better tell Spongebob I'm sor-eaach. (he makes a weird face) Huh? I guess this means I'd better apolo- (he clings his throat) yaiii! This is gonna be tougher than I thought. (cut to Squid knocking on Sponge's door and he clears his throat) Spongebob? Uh, Spongebob, come out! I've got something to tell you! Spongebob? (he then sees someone digging behind a coral branch, the Krusty Krew hat being the only visible part of the person) Uh, I was thinking about today and uh… and it just seems that I may owe you some sort of… This isn't something I normally do so, listen carefully Spongebob, because I am about to tell you that I am… (he then sees that it's Patrick he's talking to) Patrick? What are you doing here?
Patrick: Digging.
Squidward: Why are you wearing that hat? (Pat takes it off)
Patrick: Hmm, I don't know.
Squidward: Where's Spongebob?
Patrick: He's in the house. He's impressed.
Squidward: With what?
Patrick: I don't know, but it must have been pretty good to make him cry like that. (Squid gets nervous and goes to Sponge's house and bangs on the door)
Squidward: Spongebob, let me in there! (he tries pulling the hatch, but Sponge's arm comes from under the door and pulls it under. Squid storms off and comes back with his clarinet) Spongebob, you'd better let me in there! I don't want to have to use this! (he plays his music… horribly. Sponge peeks out from the door)
Spongebob: What do you want?
Squidward: Spongebob, I just wanted to say that I'm sorrrr-eeee. (that part was garbled because his tongue was out)
Spongebob: What?
Squidward: I'm trying to say I'm (his head turns into a donkey and he makes braying sounds)
Spongebob: What?
Squidward: I'm just trying to say that I'm… (his head explodes) There's gotta be an easier way to do this… (cut to the same place. Squid writes a note, curls it up, puts it in a bottle, puts a cork on it, and rolls it to Sponge. He picks it up) Well, aren't you going to open it?
Spongebob: I can't, I don't have a bottle opener. (Squid growls. Cut to Sponge and Squid. Each has those tin cans attached to strings that you can use as phones. Squid gives the thumbs up and drives a ways away and talks into the can)
Squidward: Spongebob, I'm… (whispers. He then hears some weird sawing sounds coming from the can. He looks through some binoculars and sees Sponge. Then he sees Pat using the string as dental floss. Squid slams the binoculars on the ground and runs back to Sponge) Spongebob, all I am trying to say is that I am… (he swishes his hand down, forming some bubbles. He gets an idea and capsules his head inside one of the bubbles. Now his voice is faint and incoherent) sorry. (he pops the bubble) There you go.
Spongebob: But I couldn't... (Squid slams the door on him)
Squidward: I don't care! I said it! My conscience is clear! (walks off, but a ghost image of Pat's head pops up in front of him)
Patrick: It must have been pretty good to make him cry like that. (Squid continues walking and runs into a ghost image on a guy at the restaurant)
Guy: April Fools, jerk. (Squid starts running and runs into a ghost image of his own mother)
Squid's Mom: (male gruff voice) You stink!
Squidward: Mother? (he runs back to Sponge's house) All right, all right! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I admit it, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to hurt you, in fact, I like you! I like living next door, I like your foghorn alarm in the morning and your high-pitched giggling at night! I also like Gary, Patrick, Sandy, Mr. Krabs, and all the other people I'm forced to be in contact with! And, and, and... (Sponge opens the door a crack)
Spongebob: Squidward! Is all that true?
Squidward: Yes, Spongebob. Yes, it's all true.
Spongebob: Even the part about the lima beans and the car chase?
Squidward: What the...? Yes, whatever! But you have to promise not to tell anybody.
Spongebob: I promise.
Squidward: Really? (Sponge opens the door all the way, revealing the citizens of Bikini Bottom inside)
All: April Fools! (Squid's eye twitches)
Squidward: April Fools! You're right, April Fools! I just fooled you all! (he laughs hysterically and runs back to his house)
Spongebob: What would we do without Squidward?