written by Ennio Torresan, Erik Wiese, Stephen Hillenburg, Derek Drymon, and Tim Hill
typed by Foxy Grandpa exclusively for Sarah's Spongebob Shrine
SpongeBob: (shows SpongeBob coming outside, inhales in) Ahh, what a wonderful day. The sun is out, the water is shimmering, scallops are chirping. So peaceful. (shows SpongeBob grabbing wood, hammer and nails and starts building a bubble stand)
Squidward: (peeks head out his window) Can we lower the volume, please?! I can't work with all that racket going on!
SpongeBob: Oh, sure thing, Squidward.
Squidward: Ha, yeah right.
SpongeBob: Okay. (taps on nail lightly, looks up at Squidward's window, repeats 5 times)
Squidward: (in his house) And now, some soothing sounds from Squidward's clarinet. Thank you, thank you. (starts to play)
(Spongebob looks up and sees that Squidward is playing his clarinet, so he decides to finish his stand quickly)
Squidward: (looks out at SpongeBob) I thought I - wha?
SpongeBob: Hey Squidward! Wanna blow some bubbles? Only 25 cents.
Squidward: Oh, right. Like I would spend a moment of my time blowing bubbles.
SpongeBob: Uh huh!
Squidward: Oh please! I mean, who in the world would pay to blow bubbles? (shows Patrick coming out of his house)
Patrick: Good morning! (falls and screams)
Squidward: Oh, boy. (Patrick walks over to SpongeBob)
SpongeBob: Good morning to you sir. Would you care to blow a bubble?
Patrick: Hmm, how much is it?
SpongeBob: Only a quarter.
Patrick: Sounds reasonable. (whispers) Umm, I'm going to need to borrow a quarter.
SpongeBob: Sure thing, Patrick. (pulls out a quarter, gives it to Patrick)
Patrick: Ah, one quarter. (hands quarter back to SpongeBob, SpongeBob bites it to see if it's real)
SpongeBob: Thank you. (cuts to Squidward)
Squidward: Ha, business is booming. (laughs) How did I ever get surrounded by such loser neighbors? Heh. (plays clarinet; cuts to Sponge and Pat)
SpongeBob: (dips bubble wand) One bubble wand, dipped and ready to go. (Patrick grabs wand from SpongeBob, inhales deeply and begins to blow; after a while, SpongeBob puts up a "Lessons" sign) Could I interest you in some lessons? Only 25 cents.
Patrick: Uh, very well then. Hey, Sponge, can I borrow another quarter? (SpongeBob hands Patrick a quarter) Thanks. (winks and hands quarter back to SpongeBob)
SpongeBob: Okay, Patrick, it's all in the technique! First go like this, spin around. Stop! Double take three times. One, two three. Theeeen PELVIC THRUST. Whoooo, Whooooooo. Stop on your right foot, DON'T FORGET IT! Now it's time to bring it around town. Bring-it-a-round-town. Then you do this, then this, and this, then this, then that, then this and that, and then-- (blows bubbles, makes duck figures)
Patrick: Ooooh. (SpongeBob pops out of nowhere and blows a box; Patrick giggles and Spongebob blows a caterpillar) Ahh. Ha ha ha. (Spongebob blows a boat; it floats off, pops, and makes a foghorn noise; cuts to Squidward's house)
Squidward: Huh? (shakes his clarinet; cuts back to Sponge and Pat)
SpongeBob: And now... with two hands! (inhales deeply, blows out an elephant, circus music starts playing and Patrick laughs)
Patrick: (laughs) It's a giraffe! (Pat continues guffawing; elephant floats over into Squidward's house and pops; tons of smaller bubbles come out of the house; Squidward opens door and has a sour look on his face; Sponge and Pat hide behind the stand; Sponge places a "Closed" sign on it; Squidward looks over it)
SpongeBob: Excuse me sir but we are cl--
Squidward: Don't give me any of that! How can you two possibly make all this noise just blowing bubbles?
SpongeBob: We're not just blowing bubbles, we're making bubble art! Watch carefully. First go like this, spin around, stop. Double take three times. One, two, three. Then, pelvic thrust. Whooooo whoooooo. Stop on your right foot. Don't forget it! Now it's time to bring it around town! Bring-it-a-round-town. Then you do this, then this, and this, then this, then that, then this and that, and then-- (blows a butterfly, which flies over to Squidward, lands on his head, and pops)
Squidward: That's not art! That's just annoying! Blowing bubbles, that's the lamest idea I have ever heard! (Sponge and Pat depressingly head to Sponge's house) You should be ashamed of yourselves! (laughs and talks to himself) Bubbles. (laughs) Art. (laughs then mumbles, picks up bubble wand, sniffs it, and inhales to blow, and SpongeBob pops out of nowhere)
SpongeBob: That'll be 25 cents, sir.
Squidward: Ah, whoa, what? Oh--who would pay 25 cents to blow bubbles?
SpongeBob: We also offer lessons for beginners.
Squidward: Beginners? What could be more simple than blowing a stupid bubble? (pulls a quarter out) Here's your 25 cents! (SpongeBob bites it to test if it's real and it bends) Watch and learn. (inhales to blow bubble, blows, nothing happens) Uhm, wait, wait, wait. (inhales and blows again, nothing happens) One more time. Wait. (inhales and blows again, small bubble comes out and instantly falls to the ground, it bursts, Squidward looks over at Sponge and Pat, they gulp then whistle, Squidward places another quarter on the stand) Just a mere warm-up. (dips wand in bubble container, inhales deeply and blows hard, bubble falls to ground, gets another quarter out, puts it on the stand)
SpongeBob: Hey Squidward, remember the technique. (Squidward keeps trying while Sponge and Pat are trying to show him the technique)
SpongeBob & Patrick: Technique, technique, Tech-
SpongeBob: You're not doing the technique.
Squidward: Technique? Technique!? Technique, technique, technique, technique, TECHNIQUE! (starts to do the technique, while imitating SpongeBob) First I do this, spin around. Stop. Double take three times. And here we go-- pelvic thrust. wehooooo, wehoohoo. Stop on your right foot, don't forget it. Then bring it around town. And a little of this, a little of that, a little of this, a little of that, this this, that and that. And that and this. this that this that. Then AHHHHHHH. AHHHHHHHHHH! (blows huge bubble that lifts him off the ground)
SpongeBob & Patrick: Wow! (Squidward falls)
SpongeBob: All right Squid! That was so good!
Patrick: Squid is number one!
Squidward: I really did it, didn't I? You guys didn't blow anything like that!
Squidward: Now that's a bubble!
SpongeBob: You said it, Squidward. See, it is all in the technique!
Patrick: Yeah, technique.
Squidward: Technique? Hah! SpongeBob, you donít think I created that (kisses tentacle) beautiful work of art with your help? (starts laughing) Come on, it's in my genes.
SpongeBob & Patrick: Squid's got genes! Squid's got genes!
Squidward: Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. (starts to play clarinet)
SpongeBob & Patrick: Squidward, Squidward, Squidward, Squidward, Squidward, Squidward, Squidward, Squidward, Squidward, Squidward, Squidward, Squidward, Squidward, Squidward, Squidward...
Squidward: I rock! (Sponge and Pat continue to chant his name; Squidward's bubble flies over them, covers Squidward's house, and pulls it out of the ground and up towards the top of the ocean; SpongeBob notices then stops Patrick)
SpongeBob: (now concerned) Squidward!
SpongeBob & Patrick: Squidward! Squidward! Squidward!
Squidward: Hello my friends, you are looking at a--
Squidward: --genius. (bubble explodes, Sponge and Pat look in awe)
SpongeBob & Patrick: Wow! (as house comes down, they both run towards their own houses; Squidward's house lands in its old spot, his clarinet plays till outro)